HADES, Nebraska–Calling it an “incredible find,” Satan today described the elation he felt when he first inspected his latest acquisition, the soul of Texas Senator Ted Cruz. “Absolutely mint condition,” […]
HERSHEY, Pennsylvania–Just in time for Halloween, Hershey Corp., a division of ACME Corp., has announced it will be bringing back its classic chocolate-covered razorblade candies for a limited time. The delicious, […]
BELLVILLE, Illinois–ACME Corporation CEO Latran Ferrell announced today a nationwide recall on ACME Bullshit Detectors that will affect nearly 100 million customers. Ferrell said the recall will affect all BS […]
Gotcha! By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent TAILHOOK, Indiana–Marty and Blair Aghastique, world’s richest purveyors of anthracite—admitted king makers, secret Presidential manipulators and owners of governments from Washington to Canberra, […]
BASTROM, Ohio–Katie Hobbs, a 24 year-old accountant, displayed remarkable abilities to determine which of her fellow female co-workers are most likely to have negative personality traits or undesirable social habits […]
MILWAUKEE, Wisconson–Harley Davidson CEO Keith Wandell announced today that the popular American motorcycle manufacturer has issued a nationwide recall of nearly a million riders of its popular motorcycles. Wandell said […]
Handcrafted snow is incredibly labor intensive PITTSBURGH, Pennsylvania–Russell Hart’s great-grandfather started Sno-Globe Industries in this city in 1919. Within a half-century, the one-time mom and pop snow manufacturing company had […]
EL SEGUNDO, California–Christopher Sinclair, chairman of Mattel, Inc., announced today that the toy manufacturing company has enjoyed a nearly 20% sales increase this quarter over the same period a year […]
BUFFALO, New York–Newly hired Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan’s economic impact is already being felt in this city of over 250,000 as area restaurants scramble to hire additional employees […]
The outfit didn’t help MALLORY, Michigan–Authorities were called to a local auto dealership earlier today when owner Doug Anderson began displaying increasingly erratic behavior while filming a new commercial. Anderson, […]
