Chick Accusing Co-Workers of Sexism Probably on the Rag or Something

CARY, Wyoming–Nancy Maines, a 24 year-old project manager, is apparently experiencing a heavier than normal menstrual cycle this month, her colleague Josh Simon reports.  Maines recently filed a grievance with human resources accusing Simon and his supervisor Danny Kurtz of making sexist remarks.

“Nancy’s definitely on the rag,” Simon claims, “Or at least PMS-ing like a motherfucker.  Why else would she be spreading lies?  Oh wait, she’s a chick that’s why.”

Simon says this is at least the fifth time Maines has falsely accused him of making sexist or sexually suggestive remarks.  He notes that he has received verbal warnings on the last two occasions, with the threat of an actual written warning if it happens again.

“And I’ve been nothing but nice to her,” Simon argues, “I compliment her on her appearance all the time.  Chicks love that.  And I actually mean it.  She has a great little ass.  She’s really cute, and smart too, for a girl.”

Simon and his coworkers have speculated that Maines’ increasingly erratic behavior can be directly attributed to her unpredictable female hormones, although other theories have been proposed.

“She may have been watching The Bachelorette,” Simon supposes, “Chicks really buy into that stuff.  Or soap operas.  It’s like this competitive thing for male attention.  Sometimes some of the other girls here act like this too.  Once in a while one will be ragging so hard she’ll cry at the smallest thing I’ve said.”

Simon also says it is becoming more and more obvious that Maines harbors an intense attraction to him, but that he’s going to wait to make his move after she gets off her period.

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