Doctor Clears Jets QB Geno Smith to Return to Sucking

NEW YORK CITY–New York Jets Head Coach Todd Bowles told reporters today the team’s terrible quarterback, Geno Smith, has been cleared to return to the team after rehabilitating a broken jaw.

“We’ll bring Geno back a little slowly,” Bowles said, “Even though it probably won’t matter in regard to his on-field play, which is universally considered as awful and an insult to the New York Jets and to the game of football.  He’ll be a backup for the time being, which would sound right if this were a college coed intramural touch league.  But it’s not.  It’s the NFL.  It would almost be funny if it weren’t so sad.”

Smith’s jaw required surgery following two years of constant punching from teammates infuriated by his incompetent performances.  Doctors reinforced the jaw with a titanium bridge in anticipation of future pummeling.

“His doctor was a little concerned during rehab that the bridge was too heavy and it was causing his mouth to hang open,” Bowles reported, “I just said ‘No, Doc, Geno’s just a mouth-breather’.  You can probably guess how much confidence it instills in his teammates to see this guy standing there with his mouth open on the sideline like he’s trying to read Chinese or something.  It’ll be good to have him back.”

Smith told teammates he was actually medically cleared a couple of weeks ago, but his doctor had been unable to reach Bowles or anyone else from the Jets organization.  Finally, Smith said he bumped into Bowles at a nearby grocery store.

“Yeah, just dumb luck bumping into Geno like that,” Bowles chuckled, “Real fucking dumb.  I knew better than to go into that damn store.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

“But it’s great to have Geno back,” he went on, “He’s already at the same level, skill-wise, as he was before the surgery.  Geno Smith is a great example for kids that literally anyone on the planet can become an NFL quarterback, no matter how hard you work.”

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