BOWMAN, Montana–Newly married Shane Dotson, 27, says he was surprised to learn that his wife, Misty, had kept secret certain elements of her academic background. Dotson, who graduated from Montana Technical Institute with an electrical engineering degree, says he had been led to believe that his new wife, who has a BSN, had only studied nursing in college.
“Turns out, Misty also went to Bitch School,” Dotson says, “I never would have guessed. It never came up while we were dating. Looks like she had a double major.”
Dotson says he wouldn’t be surprised if he discovered that Misty actually holds a graduate degree in bitchiness. The couple has been married for six months.
“She may not have a Master’s in Bitchiness, but I promise you she’s working on it,” Dotson reports, “And it looks like she doesn’t plan on stopping until she earns her PhD.”
Dotson says he has urged his wife to go into teaching, as she has demonstrated expert-level knowledge of the art of being a fucking bitch. He has also told her she should write a book on the subject.
“How to Be a Bitch, by Misty Dotson,” Dotson says, “Or maybe it will be Dr. Misty Dotson. I think she’s also just a few credits away from earning her degree in being a cunt, as well. And I think she has a minor in withholding sex.”