Former Aide Claims Trump Campaign a Wacky Scheme to Collect Inheritance from Rich Uncle

NEW YORK CITY–Tom Jennings, a former aide to Donald Trump, claims he was fired from the GOP presidential candidate’s campaign because he failed to lose enough money.  But that’s not his most disturbing claim.

According to Jennings, after his dismissal he learned that Trump’s entire campaign is a ruse designed to help him meet the terms set forth in his uncle Ebeneezer Trump’s will, which could potentially be worth $30 billion to the real estate mogul.

“Donald’s Uncle Ebeneezer wanted to make sure his nephew developed a distaste for spending money before giving him such a large sum, to prevent him from blowing through it all,” Jennings claims, “So Donald had a choice.  Take $10 million up front and the rest would go to charity, or spend $300 million in thirty days.  If he can do that, he gets the full $30 billion.”

But Jennings says there are stipulations Trump must meet to prevent him from spending the entire amount all at once.

“Number one is no real estate deals,” Jennings explains, “Ebeneezer knew Donald would be able to lose it all in one day with his real estate experience.  Number two is no divorce settlements.  He was allowed to give up to half of it to charity, but refused out of principle.”

Jennings learned that Trump attempted a number of schemes to spend the money, including getting himself sued by various models and pageant contestants, creating failed reality shows and investing in a failed line of hair care products.  But ultimately all those schemes fell apart.

“He just couldn’t spend enough money” Jennings says, “Then he had the idea to run for president, and lose.  He figured it would be easy.  Just buy millions of dollars worth of air time then say and do increasingly outrageous things.  He figured he could make himself unelectable.”

But it looks like Trump’s plan has backfired, as no matter how racist, misogynistic or fiscally irresponsible his actions and comments, his supporters have grown daily.  With time running out, Trump may be getting desperate.

“The irony of the situation is Donald had so much faith in the American voters that he thought there was no way they would elect someone who says the despicable things he says,” Jennings says, “But people are just eating it up.  I heard Donald was preparing to promise to send all the black people back to Africa, just to kill his campaign once and for all.  But now he’s reconsidering, because he’s afraid the American people are going to elect him, and then actually expect him to do it.”

 

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