VP Biden Fails Third White House Piss Test
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Vice President Joe Biden was called in to the Oval Office today by President Obama, who demanded an explanation for why the V.P. had popped positive on a third […]
Monthly Archives: May 2015
St. Louis Police Shoot Unarmed, Unlegged Black Man
ST. LOUIS, Missouri–Tension filled the air here as protesters gathered outside the police station to voice their anger over the shooting death of yet another unarmed, unlegged black resident. Witnesses […]
Coal Barons Admit They “Were Only Foolin’”
Gotcha! By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent TAILHOOK, Indiana–Marty and Blair Aghastique, world’s richest purveyors of anthracite—admitted king makers, secret Presidential manipulators and owners of governments from Washington to Canberra, […]
Congressman Proposes Building Fence Around the Earth to Keep out Illegal Space Aliens
WASHINGTON, D.C.–Amid growing concerns that there may be intelligent life in the universe, U.S. Representative Alan Fudd (R-ID) has introduced a bill that would fund construction of a massive chain-link […]
Cannibal Regales Tribe with Wondrous Tales of Skyscrapers, Michael Moore Following U.S. Visit
PAPUA NEW GUINEA–Upon returning from a recent trip to the United States, Hupy, a Korowai tribesman, attempted to relate to his friends and family many of the wonders he experienced. […]
Divorcing Couple Engaged in Bitter Custody Battle over Piece of Shit Child
ROCK RIDGE, Arizona–Friends and family members have confirmed that Terry and Judy Montgomery are currently engaged in an acrimonious divorce following a rocky six-year marriage. While both would like nothing […]
Mad Max: Fury Road Review Review
Each week BWN entertainment editor Sparky Funstein reviews movie reviews from across the country, and around the world. This week, Sparky takes on Jeff Baker of the Oregonian and his […]
Girl Scouts to Offer Online Scouting
NEW YORK CITY–In an effort to increase membership and an eye toward modernization, the Girl Scouts of the United States of America will soon begin allowing girls to complete many […]
SPECIAL REPORT: SNOW WHITE’S SECRET JOURNAL DISCOVERED?
By Victor Miller BWN Special Correspondent HEIDELBERG, GERMANY…(GCO)–Although popular tradition has it that The Grimm Brothers collected the Sleeping Beauty tale from local peasants, recent archaeological finds in parts of […]
Woman Able to Determine Which Female Co-Workers She’ll Hate Within Minutes of Starting New Job
BASTROM, Ohio–Katie Hobbs, a 24 year-old accountant, displayed remarkable abilities to determine which of her fellow female co-workers are most likely to have negative personality traits or undesirable social habits […]
