Harley Davidson Recalls Nearly One Million Motorcycle Riders

MILWAUKEE, Wisconson–Harley Davidson CEO Keith Wandell announced today that the popular American motorcycle manufacturer has issued a nationwide recall of nearly a million riders of its popular motorcycles.  Wandell said the recall was issued “due to the alarming increase in the quality of consumer purchasing the Harley Davidson brand.”  Wandell promised that all riders recalled from their motorcycles would be provided a line of credit at their local Honda dealers along with DVD copies of the 2004 Ice Cube/Dane Cook film, Torque.

Harley Davidson released a statement explaining the reasons for the recall, which will affect numerous white-collar Harley riders with a focus on those in the medical and legal fields, as well as hundreds of thousands of bankers and financial advisers.  The recall will also affect anyone who attempts to ride a Harley Davidson while wearing a helmet, without facial hair, or enjoys regular bathing.

“Harley Davidson deeply regrets any inconvenience unworthy riders may face as a result of this recall, but we feel it is necessary to ensure that real Harley Davidson fans can continue to enjoy the sense of superiority they have felt for more than a century,” the statement read, “And we want to make certain that true Harley enthusiasts will continue to purchase our over-priced and under-performing motorcycles the way they always have: by stealing, dealing drugs, and through the occasional contract murder.”

69 responses to “Harley Davidson Recalls Nearly One Million Motorcycle Riders

  1. Well I’ve been a loyal rider/owner since 1971 with a.fx,83′ flh classic. and now ride a 86 FLHTC with over 200.000 miles on it and never been apart.Ive had afew accidents and it faired better that I did.I still ride this 1 daily without a problem.I have had few hicups but I wouldn’t change a thing .I plan on riding to sturges this yr.I LUV MY BIKE!!!!

  2. Keith wandell you sir sound like a pompous idiot with that last comment..who do you think you are…? Arrogant piece of shit.I like my hd but sir you are an ass

    • LOL Kurt, didn’t you take a glance around the rest of this site before posting? It’s a parody site, humor only. Look at these other headlines-

      Bill Clinton Growing Excited at Prospect of Receiving Fellatio From Sitting U.S. President
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      • The most exclusionary group of riders I’ve ever encountered…some say BMW pilots fit that description, but many HD riders take it to a whole different level. I’ve been threatened, cursed at and told if I left my bike where it was, it wouldn’t be there when I returned just because of the various brands of bike I was riding; obviously not a Harley on those occasions. It’s mostly marketing and hyperbole, where people actually believe it, but if someone wants to be “different”, be truly different and genuine, not different like the rest of the group. Which by the very definition is not different at all.

      • Wow I did not think anyone knew ALL the Harley Riders in the world. You must really be something special jeff to know that many people, or are you just a pompous ass? My money would be bet on pompous ass.

  3. Too bad this wasn’t true. I see them every year trecking to sturgis in a motothome towing a trailer withe bike on back. Any more the ralley is full of motorhomes and sattlite.dishes. sad the white color crowd has ruined it for everyone. These guys only ride around sturgis otherwise they would not have that comfy sleeping shack with TV. Give me a break. Shouldn’t own it if you ain’t willing to ride it.

    • its not the white collar yahays that priced the average dude out of owning one, but yeah, fuck those festival bitches, and fuck this shit, fucking contract killings??? the fuck someone give me 50 bucks and ill pound the writers head with a fuckin pool cue until he gets detached retinas….

    • BREAKING NEWS
      A man masquerading as CEO of HARLEY DAVIDSON INC. has been captured without incident at a local pet store and “recalled” to an unnamed mental institution from which he recently escaped while being treated for his reportedly “uncontrollable” urges to commit deviant sexual acts upon unsuspecting rodents.

  4. This is a joke dumb fucks lol. Only an idiot would think this is true why would Harley care whos riding them if they are selling 20,000 dollar bikes

  5. hey any fcbook fend help me i need some parts old bike Ariel 1956 made in england.350 cc.Thnx bye

  6. Only a complete moron would find this to have an ounce of truth to it.. If in fact you find yourself thinking and asking ” I’m pretty sure I’m a biker .. MAAAA. I’m a biker right??” ..” And in turn receiving back a ” Yes dear.. Your my little biker” . Please .. As quickly as possible.. Start doing shots of chlorox bleach and if you dont kick the bucket after half the jug . Stand on the side of the highway and headbutt the very next semi headed towards you because …YOU .. Are the reason for the above written story.

  7. the only thing I see here is tuff guys with pins. As for people with motorhomes ruining Sturges I laugh at that I’ve been blue-collar my whole life and love my motorhome and my geezer glide work a little harder and you can have one too

  8. Thank the Lord they didn’t spot the BALDY BLOKES, looks like we live to ride another day!

    Some people just take life too seriously!

    If it wasn’t for all the Sunday riders out there with their shiny HOG leathers knocking over myopic car drivers more of us “real” ones would be dead!

    Just ride and enjoy and if the other guy doesn’t like your ride?

    Just smile

    Carter

  9. Right on I get a Honda which is a more reliable bike. When I bought this piece of crap harly they gave me a 55 gallon drum of oil with it. We all know the Japanese build two tight thing’s that’s a motor and a woman.

    • U dip shit. U can’t even spell Harley let alone own one. Also your an idiot. Harley’s ain’t been leaking since we bought back Harley from the slope heads. Tight my ass!!!! Maybe if your talking about railing your boyfriends ass with your tiny cock. God I hate fucks like you. I’ve owned it all and the wind don’t care what you ride but I do enjoy riding my ultra or my Dyna. Why do you think ugly guys own Harley’s? Cause they get you laid!!! I’m not beating down jap shit so don’t take me wrong. I’ve pounded many a mile on old jap bikes.

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  11. Three recalls on my Ultra so far; may as well recall me as well…

    Oh wait, I am approaching a half million miles on two wheels in 4o yrs of riding. I’m a truck driver, which makes me blue collar. I f#@king hate to shave… Though I shower daily…

    Okay, I guess if a recall is mandatory I’ll take a Goldwing and a lifetime supply of Dramamine to keep from falling asleep from boredom while riding it 😀

    Lighten up Honda folks

  12. HAHAHA, got a 81 KZ550 robins egg blue, stretched and bobbed killer rat bike. Rigid frame and a 1/4 inch steel pan seat, head light and tail light…Ride whatever starts !

    • I deplore that assumtion that Americains find it tinny and steely. You dear sir should stay on your half of the pond. Unless youve got a bike that floats like a boat then by all means come over so I can steal it! Lol. But alas you may be on to something with most Americians.

  13. Then Harley Davidson should make their damn bikes more affordable so us guys that have beards, tattoos, and wouldn’t fit in the white collar world can actually buy them!!! Dumbasses.

    • Buy a Used low mile Dyna for under $5,000. How’s that not cheap. He’ll pick up a basket case sportster for a grand. It’s not that expensive if you take the time to look and save. I started out with a 73 iron head sportster with right hand shift, now I have a 98 Dyna and a 07 ultra and I’m far from well off

  14. i hav a suzuki 110cc step-thru. I regularly go on rides with a few buddies who have their harleys, after I have out ridden them all day we then pull up at a bar where I out drink them….invariably we end up in an argument and I have to take them outside and kick their butts

  15. News flash your an idiot my father rode for fifty plus years and he never did drugs or stole….

  16. It’s not important what you ride, it’s just that you ride. Live to ride, Ride to live or Ride to Live, Live to Ride! It makes no difference how you read it, say it or do it, just do it! FYI…I ride a 2012 FXDWG 103ci
    Ride safe and always be aware of those cages(cars) out there. Ride on brothers and sisters!

  17. blah blah blah Harleys are good for the average riders, but some motorcyclists need more than a money pit if you want the thing to get out of its own way. Personally 2 cylinders are just not enough and the engine is archaic at best.

  18. This was my response to the follow article linked below. But, the same comment seems to apply here too!!!

    Harley is heading for a fall and not to far down the line!!!!! I started riding when Harley was heading for bankruptcy court, couldn’t give the things away. They put together a marketing scheme appealing to the Nam Vet, using a patriotic theme. This gave them a solid platform to save the company, that would last for years. They built in value retention, by limiting the number of bikes made in a given year. In short, they build a new tradition for the Harley name.
    Fast forward to the 80’s, when the long tradition started to go to the wayside. They started building cost-cutting engines that were not reliable. Even that did not shake the Harley rider!!! However, the 90’s would be the start of the death spiral for the company. This is when the changed the marketing again and who they were targeting. This was a time when the “Old” Harley owners were going through difficult financial times. So what did Harley do?? They ditched the faithful Harley Owners, switching over to the “Trendy” crowd who were not experiencing money problems. They started pumping out bikes as fast as they could, destroying the re-sale market. They started focusing on trinkets to sell to this “Trendy” crowd, instead of focusing on the bike itself. This destroyed the Heart and Soul of the “Old” faithful Harley Owner.
    So here we are today, Harley is heading for disaster again and it’s plain for all to see. The American made bike is a thing of the past and so is the person who had pride in owning one. Companies like Victory, are starting to feed on the carcass of the once great company. Many of the newer Harley riders are met with shaking heads, as they are clueless of what a true “Biker” use to be. They have been lead to believe, buying more Harley “Stuff” brings them into the Brotherhood of the Biker. Wrong!!! There was a time when we bought new bikes, only to tear them apart and make them OUR bike. Today, this is almost unheard of anymore. Instead, it’s a race to see who can wear the most Harley “Stuff”.
    I hope Harley goes back to their “Old” Traditions!!! Until then, I guess I’ll just eat rice!!

    http://fox6now.com/2014/05/26/harley-davidson-denies-warranty-claim-for-man-whos-ridden-2-5-million-miles-but-why/

  19. Does it really matter what we ride? I have nothing against those who choose to pay for a name. I myself would never own a HD that’s my choice, but just because you may own one sure the hell doesn’t mean your better then the next person. Riding is all about the open road and enjoying the ride not about what you ride. I did find the article pretty damn funny though. Ride on brothers and sisters.

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  21. Holy shit, kids, where’s you’re sense of humor? It’s just a joke!
    Harley doesn’t care who’s riding their bikes, as long as you’re buying them! & It doesn’t matter what you ride, as long as you’re happy with your choice & you’re out there riding! So relax! Wow lol

  22. Ain’t what ya ride,it’s who you are. I have 3 HD’s; 91 EG Classic and 2 Sportsters,57 &76.The Hass Ats that wrote this up probably ride Vespas though LOL

  23. Yeah there are lots of Harley and metric riders that should have to go to court and be sentenced to ride a scooter for 10 years. Including the weekend bikers that only ride to the bar and back home.That’s not being a biker. If you don’t go through 2 sets of tires a year, you aren’t a biker.

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  25. You Harley riders are all the same! Thug criminal with fringed leather, jackets, and saddlebags filled with drugs

  26. At the rate that H-D owners are dumping their HOGS for Indians and Victory, one would think an H-D exec would learn to STFU.

  27. Pingback: Harley Davidson Recalls Nearly One Million Motorcycle Riders – MotoDomination·

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