MOSCOW–President Vladimir Putin today informed Russian Federal Assembly members his intended plan to increase the presidential maximum bench press by up to 20% over the next year. Putin outlined a 12 step process in which he will incrementally build up bulk and stamina while maintaining proper form and complete range of motion.
“I represent all of Russia,” Putin said, “And Russia is strong, both of mind and of body. But Russia can be stronger. It is my vow to you that it will be my singular focus to ensure that this happens.”
Russian political observers estimate the current presidential maximum bench press at just over 135 kg. Critics call the president’s vow to increase that to nearly 165 kg “nearly impossible.”
“It is a bold prediction,” said Boris Demekovsky, an outspoken critic of Putin’s fitness regimen, “I would call it daunting, foolhardy even. One might question if it could even be done without inflating the numbers.”
But the criticisms only seem to have made Putin more vigilant. The president also promised to set new presidential records in the squat and power clean, while improving on his own mark in the dead lift.
“Those who are concerned that I will take on this challenge at the expense of my other duties may rest easy,” he said, “The Russian people never skip leg day.”