Skunk Shortage Threatens Kentucky Food Supply

FRANKFURT, Kentucky–The state of Kentucky is facing a potentially catastrophic shortfall in its yearly skunk yields that has some experts worried may lead to widespread starvation and increasing crime rates as desperate Kentuckians take drastic measures in the search for skunk meat.  Observers are blaming a combination of over-hunting and an early freeze last fall that wiped out nearly eighty percent of the state’s skunk crop.

“Factor that in with fewer and fewer skunks being imported from Tennessee and Arkansas and the situation starts to look more dire,” says Kentucky Agricultural Director Dewey Crowder, “Kentucky could very well be facing another skunk famine like in ’33.”

Skunk meat is the primary food source for Kentucky and is used in 100% of local dishes.  The state board of health lists skunk components in three of the four major food groups.  Skravy, a pungent gravy made from skunk spray, is the official state food of Kentucky and is served at the state capitol and all state functions.

“There has already been a surge in skunk-related crime,” says Crowder, “We’ve had trucks hauling skunk eggs hijacked on three separate occasions.  Even the most honest Kentuckian can turn to the wrong side of the law if he don’t get to enjoy his skunk.”

As the situation worsens, many are comparing it to what has been dubbed The Great Skunk Famine of 1933, in which nearly two thirds of the state’s population starved to death after Europeans tasted skunk meat for the first time and most of the state’s skunks were exported.  It has gotten so serious that the White House has become involved.

“Michelle Obama has traveled down here, urging us to try squirrel or possum.  But in Kentucky we like to eat skunk,” Crowder adds, “Skunk really is the caviar of rodents.”

4 responses to “Skunk Shortage Threatens Kentucky Food Supply

  1. Gosh darn the blankety heck!!! Roast skunk was always our favorite. It tasted even better if it was skinned. Now we’ll have to go back to snake on a stick.

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