Dallas Cowboys’ Season Ends on ‘Who Shot Jerry Jones?’ Cliffhanger

ARLINGTON, Texas–The Dallas Cowboys’ season ended last night in electrifying fashion, as an assailant obscured to viewing audiences entered owner Jerry Jones’ luxury box and shot the billionaire before fleeing as time expired.  It was the highest-rated Dallas Cowboys episode of a season in which the one-time ratings juggernaut had seen a strong resurgence in quality after several seasons of declining viewership and ineffective performances by its leads.

Fans will have to wait until next season to learn the fate of Jones, but Cowboys insiders are betting that the buzz created by the shocking cliffhanger will keep the franchise in the headlines throughout the off season.

“Was it me?  It could have been,” said coach Jason Garrett when asked if he pulled the trigger, “That’s the beauty of it.  Everyone on the team is a legitimate suspect.  Then you have Jerry’s wife, several strippers, hell you can throw in half the NFL.  And all Cowboys fans.  Next season is gonna be a shocker.”

While critics have blasted the ending for being exploitative and overly violent, no one can argue the level of attention it has brought to the Cowboys organization.  Following the broadcast, the question dominating social media was, ‘Who shot Jerry Jones?’  Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo even sat for his post game interview wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the question above a Dallas Cowboys team logo.

“You’ll just have to tune in next season to find out,” said Romo when asked if he thought Jones would live or die, “But honestly, it would be really tough to go on without Jerry.  He’s the star of the program.”

“But if he does die, I’m going to Disneyland,” Romo added with a laugh.

There were some clues to Jones’ fate as the credits rolled and an uncredited EMT was overheard saying, “He’s alive, but just barely.”  The Dallas Cowboys announced today that there would be a micro series available online during the off season to fill in the gaps and build momentum prior to next season’s premiere.

“It was a great turnaround this year by the Cowboys,” said NBC football analyst Cris Collinsworth, “And it really sets them up for a hugely successful next season.  But if you’re paring down a list of suspects, the easier question might be, who didn’t want to shoot Jerry Jones?”

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