Stunned Jameis Winston Learns Meaning of “Consensual”

Can you use it in a sentence?

TALLAHASSEE, Florida–Embattled Florida State University quarterback Jameis Winston said today that this whole time he’s been thinking consensual meant something completely different than what it actually means.

Winston, who has spent the last two years fighting allegations that he sexually assaulted a female student at FSU, has steadfastly maintained his innocence, claiming that the two had consensual sex.  But the Heisman Trophy winner said he was stunned earlier today when he actually looked up the term ‘consensual.’

“I honestly though it meant something totally different,” an embarrassed Winston admitted, “Like, I thought it meant the total exact opposite of what it actually means.  I feel pretty dumb.  But it’s all good.”

When asked what this means regarding the student conduct investigation into the allegations against him, Winston said it doesn’t change anything.

“I’m just gonna go out and be me.  I can’t change me,” Winston went on, “Maybe I learn a new word.  I’m smarter now.  Everything else, you know, it is what it is.”

Florida State coach Jimbo Fisher vowed that nothing would change about the team’s preparation for the rest of the season, a sentiment echoed by Winston.

“I just gotta continue to improve, to better myself,” Winston said, “Build my vocabulary.  Learn new words.  Help old people.  I just gotta build my brand.  The only thing I’m guilty of is not knowing the exact definition of a word.  Jameis gonna be alright.”

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