Star Wars VII to Feature Muslim Sith Lord, Gay Jedi Knight

Darth Obama bin Laden

HOLLYWOOD–In a move insiders say is designed to appeal to the high moral standards of Disney’s target audience, it has been revealed that the next sequel in the massively popular Star Wars franchise, Star Wars Episode VII, will feature both a Muslim and a homosexual character.

The story is being reported by Kellvin Chavez, a reporter at the Latino Review, an entertainment web site that has previously broken several Star Wars-related stories that have all turned out to be true, including news that the new Star Wars trilogy would feature actors from the original trilogy, including Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and a hologram of the late Alec Guinness, voiced by Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane.

Chavez says his sources indicated the Muslim character will be a Sith Lord, which is an evil, villainous character in the Star Wars universe.

“It’s being set up so the Muslim Sith Lord, played by Mehdi Ouzaani, who you’ll remember as portraying President Obama in the miniseries, The Bible, will lead the Dark Side of the Force on a sort of intergalactic Jihad,” says Chavez, “In a way, they’re trying to hold up a mirror to society, to reflect what is really going on in the world right now.”

Chavez says the character arc of the Muslim Sith Lord will be designed to suggest that he is a probable precursor to the Islamic religion that would ultimately come to the planet earth.  The setting for the Star Wars series is “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

Chavez describes the homosexual character as a young Jedi Knight, confused by a struggle between the Light and Dark Sides of the Force for his soul.

“If he (the un-named character) relents to the homosexual lifestyle, he will be consumed by the Dark Side,” Chavez says, “But he will have the opportunity to be saved by the love of the princess.  It is that internal conflict that will drive the story.”

Chavez says his source at Disney says the character is meant to represent the real choice that every human must make regarding sexual orientation, and show the dire consequences of making the wrong choice.

“My source says that Disney feels they are making a really progressive vision of Star Wars,” Chavez says, “Star Wars has always been a reflection of society, so it seems like they are doing a good job of keeping with that tradition.”

 

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