Kurt Cobain Closing in on 19 Years of Sobriety


Cobain was a notoriously bad shot

SEATTLE, WA—Former Nirvana guitarist and singer Kurt Cobain is preparing to celebrate nearly two decades of sobriety, a remarkable achievement for the legendary musician after a crippling heroin addiction tore apart his band and his marriage. Cobain, who left Nirvana suddenly in 1994 to address his addiction, has remained out of the public eye since the band’s split.

“I haven’t seen him once,” says former Nirvana drummer Dave Grohl, “Which, I guess if you know the story, shouldn’t come as a surprise.”

While Grohl hints that he still harbors resentment toward Cobain leaving the band, he also says he is happy his former friend and bandleader has been able to resist falling back into his old addiction.

“It’s something to celebrate, although I’m not sure what you get someone on their 19th anniversary,” says Grohl, “I guess a perfect gift for Kurt would be a shovel.”

Cobain’s ex-wife, Courtney Love, says she still has feelings for the rocker, although he hasn’t visited her or their daughter, Frances, in nearly 20 years.

“It’s sad that Frances doesn’t know her father,” says Love, “I thought I saw him one night, but it turned out I was just high on smack. I don’t have his willpower.”

Love says that despite his absence, she remains very proud of her ex-husband and his commitment to his sobriety. She says his story should be an inspiration to others who’ve struggled with addiction.

“I wish I knew his secret,” says Love, “To just quit cold turkey like that, after all those years of using. It’s pretty impressive.”

Still, other musicians who have struggled with substance abuse question whether too much credit is being given Cobain in his triumph over his heroin addiction.

“I’m glad the guy’s clean,” says Pearl Jam guitarist Mike McCready, himself a recovering alcoholic, “But how hard can it be to stay off heroin when you’re dead?”

“Knowing Kurt and how much he loved the smack,” Love says, “Pretty hard.”

7 responses to “Kurt Cobain Closing in on 19 Years of Sobriety

  1. Envy !! @ 15 years and counting…Death! stole my sobriety.
    Jsc,,,Form the grave…I was hard to reach.

    • At a rare recent appearance at a junior high seance in White Crest, MO, Cobain admitted he is a huge fan of Two and a Half Men. Unsurprisingly, the revelation was followed by rumors that Cobain had been spotted earlier that evening snorting cocaine with Amy Winehouse.

      • FUCK YOU is the best response, to assholes such as you. First off what did he do that caused you pain and hatred. If you have nothing good to say about people why bother wasting your time by writing stupid comments. And secondly he is not here to defend himself, how would you feel if some asshole “like you” kept shoving his finger up your ass…well “I`m guessing…” you would probably like it…since you use a dildo every-night, and it stays there all night long…you even go to work with it…because you like it how it massages your rectum. Fuck you and your fucking generation. Go fucking kill yourself, you motherfucking waste of sperm and cum swallowing asshole.

      • And at a rare recent appearance at a junior high seance in White Crest, MO, you admitted: that your mother had sex with her father…then she gave birth to you…and purposely dropped you on your head, and accidentally as a newborn you swallowed your baby penis and that`s how you figured your destiny was to become a”Little Queer Like You Are Now, Mamma`s little faggot.”

  2. What is the point of this post? What are you trying to achieve here? He did drugs…you know why? Because of mother fucking freaks like you assholes. I do sincerely hate this fucking world. So shameless, and you “the writer” are definitely are the biggest loser here and a fucking waste of sperm. May you rust in this world, shit hot steamy metal and swallow it after you die. Good luck fucking yourself, since you like it so much.

  3. Oh, these comments probably won`t get posted. Because your little censorship technology says “awaiting moderation”. Well why don`t you moderate yourself, that way you might stand a chance, and avoid turning gay.

  4. We at BWN stand behind the editorial integrity of every story we post on this site. It is a shame that some readers choose to ignore the triumphant theme of a story like this, in which a worthless piece of human garbage was able to finally beat the destructive grip of heroin and get clean, once and for all. Cobain is now over 19 years sober, and those close to him say he looks much healthier these days than he did back in 1994. Good on you, Kurt!

    We are sorry the story made the above reader so angry that he (she?) felt the need to go on a vile homophobic rant, and we wavered on whether to include the comments posted, but felt, in the interest of posterity, we should publish them here. Besides, they are so exceedingly well-written, it would be a shame if the world weren’t able to enjoy them.

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